When I send out this newsletter I format it - skipping lines between paragraphs, etc. Then I send a trial copy to myself to make sure everything looks OK. But some of you are receiving garbled copy, one long paragraph etc..

I checked and was told that your email program or ISP controls how email looks when you get it. I have no control over that. BUT there is a solution. If your monthly newsletter comes without paragraphing etc. just scroll to the bottom of each issue and click on the link that says BACK ISSUES. You will be taken to a page on the web site that offers you a perfectly formatted version. Enjoy

This month - so many things to write.

1. Talking to your adult children

2.. The Gift of trees

3. New retirement query

Talking to your adult children. The latest thing in my area of the country are workshops for adults about "HOW TO TALK TO YOUR AGING PARENTS". I think 'hmpf' Why not workshops on HOW TO TALK TO YOUR ADULT CHILDREN. So I have been thinking. If I gave such a workshop, what would I say. Here are my ideas for 'talking to your adult children."

First, most adult children feel overburdened with tasks AND they feel a great sense responsibility for THEIR children, parents etc. So when your adult child asks, "How are you doing?" what they often are wondering is "are you OK or will I need do something for you right now'. Assurance that you do not need some emergency help right now would be a kindness to them.

One of the things you can do for your adult children is to keep them from adding you to their worry list. Be prepared to say something assuring and then launch into some story of a positive event this past week. Save your list of aches, pains or woes for a friend who can listen without worrying.

If you do need help, think about hiring someone. Contact your Office of the Aging for suggestions or have a 'family meeting' devoted to thinking through your needs and how they can be met in a timely manner without creating super stress.

Also when talking to your adult children. Avoid giving unsolicited advice. With all your experience you may have some really good ideas but believe it or not, one of the fastest ways to plunge your adult son or daughter into feeling like a 6 year old is hearing Mom or Dad give unasked for advice.

Instead some comment like, Oh yes, I remember how hard I found it ....leaves open the door for their asking, "What did you do" or "Any suggestions?" BUT just as we found ways to handle our adult problems, they will too - and NOT offering unsolicited advice can make for better relationships in the future.

2. Gift of Trees. Planting a tree is both a sign of hope for the future AND something that really helps the planet. I live in North East United States. This whole area was once forest - forest that filtered the air and cooled the earth. Now it is full of heat trapping concrete, asphalt and plastic fences instead of trees.

Planting trees can be a great investment. Trees planted on the sunny sides of your home create shade from the hot summer sun and reduce summer air conditioning costs by up to 35%! Trees, especially evergreen trees, planted on the windward side of your house will act as a windbreak and can save 30% of winter heating costs. In addition trees act as mini air cleaners.

When visiting England I was struck that instead of plastic fences, people plant trees - very close together and create 12-14 foot fence of living trees. Some plant thorn bushes in the mix. This struck me as a sort of 'green' razor wire.

Trees can also be an economic investment. If I had planted some black walnuts back when I was younger, now in their maturity they would each sell for about $40,000! Same is true for some other hardwoods. Planting a tree at the birth of a grand or great grand child can create a small future windfall as well as add beauty and eco-friendly advancement now.

We know that desertification is happening on the West Coast of Africa, Central Asia and other parts of the world - just because so many trees are being cut down (As we did many years ago in North East USA) There are web sites where for a donations of $1 or more will plant a tree in your name. Plant a tree. For those of use who are old, such plantings are legacy. And if you have read the book, "The Man Who Planted Trees", you realize that planting a tree is a sign of hope there WILL be a future.

3. Finally, the New York Times had a story yesterday about MYC making efforts to provide more city amenities for its elder residents. Seem that more retirees are moving to NYC and other big cities. This raises the issue of 'best places to retire'. I'd like to add a section about this. If you have any ideas that you would share, just hit 'reply' to this newsletter and let me know.

The NEW retirement is not following all the old advice. Those of us who are part of this new direction can help each other out by sharing what we REALLY KNOW from our experience.

Thanks in advance for any ideas you send.

So that is it for this month. I continue to add to the web site each week. I plan to update pages about jobs, finances AND some additional organizations that offer grants to etc. Hope to have all this done by September.

Be well. Sing each day.