Funny Retirement Quotes

Funny Retirement Quotes Sometimes we want a few 'laugh lines' for a retirement speech. Here are some quotations that you may find helpful. Some are by well known personalities - others by authors unknown.

Hope you enjoy these Funny Retirement Quotes:

  • When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference. - Virginia Graham
  • The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income. -George Foreman
  • The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring. - Milton Berle
  • The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. - Abe Lemons
  • Before deciding to take early retirement from your job, stay home a week and watch daytime television. — Author Unknown
  • There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. - Robert Half
  • The down side about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.- Author Unknown
  • I have retired, un retired, and retired again all in the past 10 years. I find the biggest trouble with having NOTHING to do is . . . you can't tell when you are done. — Author Unknown
  • More Funny Retirement Quotes

  • Retirement life: seen it all, done it all -Can't remember most of it! - Author Unknown
  • When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. - R.C. Sherriff
  • Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. - Gene Perret
  • It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. - Scott Elledge.
  • Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.- Author Unknown
  • You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces...And wonder what else you could do while you're down there! - George Burns
  • Retired is being tired twice, I’ve thought, first tired of working, then tired of not. - Richard Armour
  • Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. - Jonathan Clements
  • A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.' - Author Unknown

  • I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day. - Gene Perret
  • You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. - Author Unknown
Click here for Retirement toasts that are not just Funny Retirement Quotes

Go to Anti-Aging-Articles Home page or to the Index of articles on this web site

Need money? You can create an income producing web site of your own. SBI teaches you what to do step by step from choosing the best topic to how to get paid. Why not explore it? I did.   Click to learn more

If you know some other quotes, you can add them here. Thanks,